I don't know how much longer I could do this. Put a smile on my face, laugh everything off, and pretend like everything is okay because it's not, nothing seems to be going right... everything seems to be falling apart. I always imagined post-secondary life to be something amazing. You're young, you finally have more freedom, and the parties keep coming non-stop. Well it's nothing like that. I guess I should've thought about all the bullshit that would come with growing up and having everything around you change as well. Maybe if I wasn't expecting so much I wouldn't be this disappointed? Who knows... The only thing I know for sure right now, is that I'm lost. Not even just career wise, just in general. I'm not in good terms with everyone in my family, I seem to be loosing a friend by the day, and the one person that I feel I could run to and get away from it all seems to only be around for the wrong reasons now. God, give me the strength to get through this. I know it will all be over soon and everything will fall into place but until then I need all the help I could get.